Career Opportunities

I don't wanna be a soldier, mama (I don't wanna die)
I don't wanna be a politician, mama (I don't wanna lie)
I don't wanna be a Catholic priest, mama (I don't wanna make small boys cry)

It's hard to find a satisfying, well-paid profession these days.
A career opportunity, largely overlooked by mainstream media, is being a

Rakeback Whore

Nevertheless, it's a great choice with numerous benefits.
You can work in the comfort of your own home (with your clothes on), you don't need to spend any money on an outstanding training site (like DeucesCracked) and you don't need to be particulary intelligent.
The simple necessaries are a good rakeback deal, a poker client and a basic strategy for past-paced games like Rush Poker or Super Turbo Sit 'n Go's. All these can be found right here, be clicking on the appropriate link.
Now deposit your start-up funds in your poker account and mass-table the game of your choice for as many hours a day as you can handle... Every week you will be rewarded with a nice rakeback-paycheck that will fill your heart with happiness and make all the hours well worth your time ($$$!)...

Happy whoring!

Resurrection

Sometimes you've got to move down to find the way up again...

After watching the intro of terryfan's new DC-series 'Rush it to NL' I decided to take a whole new approach to the game. Dropped all the way down to 50NL and switched to full ring Rush Poker.

5000 hands later I'm up about 10 buy-in's...

It's a whole different game down here. Random fish donate with random holdings. Keeping variance in check with simple, solid fundamentals is all it takes (and some rungoot, of course)... Yes, it is painful to move down in stakes. There are those feelings of failure and the knowledge that there's less to gain. But, you know what they say, 'no pain no game' (no pain, no profit). So moving down is far superior than being stubborn and tilting of all the monies at the higher levels. Sometimes soothing the ego and rebuilding the bankroll at the low-stakes can be the fastest way up...

Variance Surfin'

So how good at poker do you think you really are?

The cool dudes over at Evplusplus.com came up with a variance simulator.

Let's say you're crushing no limit cash games at 3 big blinds/100 hands over 100K hands.

Here are 100 different possibilities how your actual profit graph could turn out:

So, there's one lucky guy that turns +$13K profit at $0.50/$1 no limit hold'em 

(snorting coke off of a model's ass and negotiating sponsorship deals) 

while an equally skilled dude (kicked out by his wife because of his gambling problem and now contemplating suicide) could have lost -$10K over the same sample size...

It's a very, very brutal game.

Next time you feel like the ultimate poker genius or like the dirtiest degenerate gambler, chances are that you're only surfing the waves of variance...

A Simple Guide To Super Turbo Sit 'n Go Strategy

If you like the idea of online poker but find it hard to put up the hours or the brain activity; there's still hope:

The Super Turbo Sit 'n Go
(It's over before you know it)

Multi-tabling these with only a basic strategy and a fine rakeback deal is a sweet way to make some hard-earned cash...

Basic rule: One Mouse Click = One Hand
(push or fold, don't even think about doing anything fancy)

The starting stack is only 10 big blinds. Do not panic! Shoving robust hands (preferably in late position) is all you have to do for now. Let your opponents knock each other out while you keep it tight.
Once you get in spots with effective stacks of about 3 big blinds you can loosen up considerably. Shove about everything (preferably against as few opponents as possible).
Try to keep your own stack above 3 big blinds at all times.
Keep an eye on stack sizes (and, if your into it, player tendencies) to find spots that offer a good risk/reward ratio. Think about what will happen with your (and your opponents) stack size when you choose to push, fold or call a shove. Planning your moves around this idea is the key to winning.
Finally, be more willing to shove around and beyond the money bubble...
That's all you need to know!

Good luck at the tables

MiniFTOPS #26 - Quick Busto

The Full Tilt MiniFTOPS tournament series is well under way.
Last night I played in Event #26, the no limit hold'em 6-max tournament.

Just one of those nights, all prepared for hours of heavy tournament action... All done well before the first break. Nothing left to do but hanging on in idle time, wondering what the hell went wrong once again... Anyway, there's still the $1million guaranteed Main Event on Sunday... Come on, 'One Time'!

Rush Strategy Is A Three Letter Word

STD is the only abbreviation you ever need to know before hitting the Rush tables at Full Tilt Poker. If you're thinking cheap back-alley whores and a scratchy crotch: go see a doctor, dude! This simple STD is a pain-free way to turn yourself into a Rush-crushing money-machine...

Just stick to these three simple rules:

1. Strong hands should be played strong; no need to mess around. It's a fast-paced game, so play it fast. 
2. Tight is right; the quick fold button make's it easy to stay away from tricky spots. In case of doubt, just fold now.
3. Donkeys do donate; mixing it up with the clueless will result in a warm, happy feeling and a fat bankroll.

Now go crush the Rush...
Good luck at the tables!

Up Your Ante

After an early bust-out of  the Full Tilt Poker MiniFTOPS#10
(just another case of flopping the nuts and getting rivered...)
I stumbled upon an amazing poker training site:

Chris Olaafson's Up Your Ante: The Revolutionary Poker Training System

Three words:
Amazing! Sensational! Mind Blowing!

"Chris Olaafson is the man behind some of the greatest poker minds on earth. This is his secret training scheme. Shown only to some of the world’s greatest poker minds Chris has decided to bring his talent, charisma and intimidating poker mind to the world. Introducing Chris Olaafson’s “Up Your Ante – The Revolutionary Poker Training System’  - are you  ready to be trained by God?"