Leaving The Beach

I stayed on the beach for 25 days.
Returning to the place where I got married
to get over my divorce.
Didn’t sound like a solid idea at first.
But it was my best decision ever.

(Sweet, seedy Sihanoukville... ) For seven years I’ve been coming back to visit the family in law. This time, out here on my own, was far better than any holiday with them. So many people I met here over the years. So many friendly faces. Without family I got to know them all over again and meet many new ones in the process. Got more friends in Sihanoukville than anywhere else in the world. Here I feel at ease. Strong and confident, older and wiser (and yes, ofthen drunk and high too). Burning through the night, speeding on a Honda Dream, visiting a tropical island, stumbling into beautiful temples, ignoring traffic lights at all times, smoking joints everywhere and lingering on the beach with friends. There were no fights, no stress, no troubles, no anger. At most I got a bit annoyed with the languorous, inefficient way of life. But I learned to roll with it. After all, happiness has nothing to do with how much you can get done in one day. Happiness is all about with who you spend the day with.

(Twenty-five days of absolute smoothness)
My married live nothing but a distant memory.
Somewhere along the way I sort of forgot what it was I came here to get way from...

*

Yesterday I left town at the break of dawn.
Taking the bus up on Highway #4 for the final time.
Leaving the beach, back to Phnom Penh.

This time I got no expectations to ever come back here again.
This time I found what I was looking for.
Now I can go home and live happily ever after.
(making that same lame statement since 2003...)

(Final night in Sihanoukville, drinking heavily in a karaoke parlor)
Soeth, my motodop-driver friend, asks how long I’m going to stay in Belgium this time.
   "...I don't know... Probably a very long time, I'm not sure if I ever come..."
He bursts out in happy, drunken laughter
   "you will be back, my friend, maybe you don't know it yet
but you'll be back... soon... I know..." (fuck)

Yes, I found closure for my divorce troubles.
I had the holiday of a lifetime. I'm ready to play lots and lots of poker again.
But I despise the day job. I despise the cold and the grey and the emptiness back home.

I found this burning desire to live life at it’s fullest...
Don't want to slow down now. I'm just getting started.

(Back in Phnom Penh at a fancy hotel on Sisovath Quay...)
Last night I studied poker by watching DeucesCracked-videos and played a decent amount of Rush. Then I drained the mini-bar and worked my way through my last ganja. Alone, stoned and disoriented in the big city once again.

*

Today I sit at the riverside and wonder

So this was my final trip to Cambodia,
what’s next?

Return To Normalcy (Exile On Karaoke Street)

When we came back from Bamboo Island she asked
'What are you going to do now?’
'Maybe I'll look for a guesthouse somewhere in town'
(silence and then...) 'You can stay at my place for a few days if you’d like’

So I moved in with Daria.
She’s a skilled pool shark and an occasional sports bettor. In her early thirties, life hasn’t been sweet to her but she carries her burden with grace. She’s beautiful, of course. She has a wicked way of brutally honest story-telling. She nonchalantly lits up cigarettes anytime, anyplace. She tricked me in betting on a pre-recorded Thai boxing match once. She thought it was extremely funny. The game ended in a draw and then I finally got the joke too...

I met her on the beach one night. I was nursing a nasty opium comedown with $0.50 Happy Hours beers when she asked for a light. I gave her one and tried to avoid further conversation. Sometimes life doesn't follow the plan...

She lives in a small apartment up on Karaoke Street.
There’s always someone playing Khmer pop music at max volume. I keep losing small change playing cards with the neighbors. The karaoke bar across the street delivers cold, cheap jugs of beer at home. There’s lots of strange, delicious food around all the time. Some local girls spend ages telling me about their love troubles with barang men in broken English. Speaking not much must makes me a good listener. I don’t mind. It’s a cool way of letting time drift by while stoned...

Life’s strangely familiar up here.
Exile on Karaoke Street. It’s not in any guidebook. It certainly wasn’t part of my schedule. Nevertheless, I’m happy to escape the guesthouses, banana pancakes and the shallow, ignorant backpacking scene for a while. The Khmer lifestyle makes me at ease and relaxed. Life’s good up here. Just mingling with the locals, taking it easy. A life I used to live...

This time it’s different. This time I’m not committed. This time everyone’s in the know about it. This time I’m just passing trough on my way out of here...

But just

A few more days of lingering on Karaoke Street,
that’s all I need

Tangled Up In SnookyVille

Sure, everyone likes the sun. Everyone likes the sea.
But that’s not the only reasons why
I can’t drag myself out of Sihanoukville.

Being a tourist
is just not working for me.

Yesterday I started playing poker again. The plan was to warm up a bit at 50NL Rush before moving up. After 2K hands I'm down 6 buy-ins. That's pretty horrendous. Didn't expect to crush again straight away. But playing this bad hurts. Maybe this is the wake up call I need. It's been two weeks since I arrived in town. It feels like I start to pay the price for all the foolish things I do. Guess I'm in pretty bad shape. It's hard to notice with all these crazy people around me...

First there was this wild English girl who’s name I can’t even remember. She had a great appetite for the sweet filthiness called O... Later one night on the beach I saved a drunk Khmer girl from drowning. Pretty common sense. She thought differently and insisted on rewarding me. Didn't feel any need. Just didn’t want her to drown in the sea. Nothing more. She didn’t understand. She's ignoring me ever since... Whatever. Only days later I met a girl who had just cut her hand on a rusty piece of metal. Took her to the hospital for a tetanus-shot. Afterwards, she showed me the way to a Buddhist temple far out of town. There we got blessed by an old monk near the sea...

When I got off the bus I didn't think there was anything left here for me.
Now I'm way more involved than I ever wished to be.

Fuck it.

The endless happy hours, the spiced-up joints, the happy pizza’s, that filthy O and this iffy relationship I got myself into... This must be the time to leave. The story’s getting old. Going nowhere fast. Restless from too much everything. Did enough partying for the whole damn year...

Knowing when to leave is an art I don't master.

So I'm still here.
Don't want to leave,
staying is insane.

Did the only sensible thing left to do.
Rented a bungalow on a tiny jungle island
just behind the horizon.
Going there in the morning,
taking with me only what I really need
like sunscreen, a Swiss army knife, this laptop
a big bag of ganja
a bottle of fine whiskey
perhaps a few pills
and maybe
(just maybe)
this girl I sort of like
might come along too...

(Offline until further notice)

The Buddha Never Sleeps

Watching local soap operas on TV while getting high with a friend is a great way to escape the afternoon heat until dusk comes around...

They say in Cambodia you’ll find what you want even if you don’t know what is you were looking for. Where the party never ends and the Buddha never sleeps. This place is hard to leave.

Live is relaxed, smooth and cheap. Then there’s this feeling of lawlessness and freedom, the nightly breeze in the air and the everlasting grains of sand on my feet. No desire whatsoever to go on some foolish jungle trip away from here.

It’s getting more quiet anyway. That’s a good thing. The girls from last weeks epic beach party left (most by bus, some out of their mind). The dudes prefer to hang out with other girls (instead of doing speed on the bar and find out who can swim furthest into the sea). It's all good, it's all fine.

So I've got the time to focus on the last remaining piece of the puzzle: beating online poker from an internet shop in Sihanoukville. Studying DeucesCracked poker-videos and working on my game. In need of a sharp mind (for at least a few hours a day).  When February's here it's time to play again...

This search for happiness is running right on schedule:

I’ve got the Fish.
Found some sweet kind of Filth.
Still very well bankrolled for this place = $$$
  
Just like the Buddha under the Bodhi tree,
sometimes you've got to stay put...

Hipster On A Beach

Hibernation’s over.
Ain’t got the blues no more.
Done with feeling sorry for myself.
Burning with desire for life again
right here in SnookyVille
on a beach.

He who lives like a beast gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Hunter S. Thompson said that

For years I’ve been domesticated and tamed like a fucking chihuahua.
One crazy night of drugs and booze with a group of cool boys and girls changed it all.

In case of doubt, fuck it.
John Lennon said that.

Sihanoukville is truly the end of the road.
Beyond here only sea.
A place on the edge.
The small town that never sleeps.
Tequila shots early in the morning hour.
Beer breakfast (at 4 pm) to start the day.
Where sobering up means a vodka redbull and
where even the food is often happy.
Getting some sleep any day now
but let us snort some crushed valium first
(just in case)

There are two ways to get what you want. You can get it or you can stop wanting it.
Buddah said something like that.

It was only when I stopped caring about my loneliness that meeting people became easy. Went for a beer one night around 9pm. Twelve hours later I was still going strong. Hanging out with the hipster dudes, chatting with the cool chicks. Smoking fine dope and drinking cold beer. Even got some romantic vibes (hipster-style) going on...
Burning through the night,
tripping in the sun
Friendly faces all around me.
Life’s sweet out here on the beach.

Happiness is an opium sunrise with a beautiful girl.
I said that.

The Sun. The Sea.

After three days I left Phnom Penh and took the bus down Highway #4 to the sea.
Back to Sihanoukville, the end of the road.
Home of white sandy beaches, laid-back bars and cheap ganja.
Also the home of my ex-familiy-in-law...

Got off the bus and found myself a room. A dirty place with a lousy fan and a filthy mattress but with a great view of the sea, a nice balcony and reasonable wifi. It’s all a matter of trade-offs.

On my first morning in town I made a final visit to my ex-mother in law. She’s a wonderful person and was still happy to see me. But I won’t going back there no more.
It was the family life that made me so happy on previous visits. I’ve never been part of a big, warm family but here, for 1 month a year, I was a brother, a son, a nephew, a part of something good. A family man.

This time around only the sun and the sea are able to soothe my senses (a bit). After all the shit came down back home, I’ve been looking forward to this holiday as a light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I’m here but it doesn’t matter.
My whole world has changed except me.

Being unable to meet new people in a chilled-out beach town is not a good sign for times to come...

Variance’s not on my side. A few days ago I got bitten by a dog. My toes are all cut up and bleeding (from walking too much in cheap flip-flops). I hate sitting alone in restaurants. I hate waking up in the morning and realizing what’s up (not much).
I know I’ve got only myself to blame. (If it’s not working, try harder) Still, I'm tired of traveling. Don't know where to go next.

Paradise’s not a place.
It are people you’re with.
Another lesson learned, too late and the hard way...

Cambodia Bound

Where to go? What to see?
The eternal questions driving me insane.
There's an urgent need to run away from this town...
Dreams about India, Tokyo and Macau
I just want to go. I've got no idea where or why.
Well, maybe I do but
I'm really not sure.
Fly away across timezones
to far from here
Perhaps trying to figure it all out
somewhere along the way.
Snap some pictures, smoke a joint, have a beer.
Walk around a strange town.
Eating noodles on my own...
Just another lonely tourist far from home.

But in the end, this is how it really is...
I've travelled down the river and I got to the sea.
My heart is in Sihanoukville at the break of dawn
watching those big clouds slowly drifting by...
Where else could I go?
What else to see?
There's nothing like
another trip to Cambodia.
Cruising down on Highway #4
all the way to the beach....

The Long Way Home

Someway Outta Here

Originally uploaded by VagabondBXL

Only a few days left...

I almost forgot all about that cold, dark city far, far away.

Alas, time to leave sweet Sihanoukville behind...

Filthy Rich Fish got a huge boost in visitor numbers over the past month.

Thanks to all of you for stopping by and reading my daily ramblings!

Running out of time

Running out of words

Nothing left but

The long way home...

SnookyVille Visions

"Snapshots of a small town by the sea"


About one month ago, photography was nothing but a distant memory. By chance, I started playing around with a small camera. Took a few shots here, took a few more there... Now weeks have passed and I have been taking pictures everywhere, everyday.
No agressive big-lens, big-camera up-close spectacular photojournalism (for 'world peace' or, more sincere, for my own personal pride and glory). Been there, done that. This time around, no one was interrupted by my presence. Photojournalism death and gone. You want misery, watch BBC World.

This is just a personal view of my daily wanderings around town...
The streets, buildings, beaches and landscapes of this little town by the sea...

A vague and humble attempt to capture Sihanoukville anno 2010 in a series of simple, honest images

"SnookyVille Visions" on Flickr

Beating The Game

It’s been weeks since I have been stopped by traffic police while driving a moto-bike.
I guess I acquired the necessary skills.
Looking back, I was pretty much a noob during my first weeks in Sihanoukville.
Every time I saw traffic police I would slow down and steer my bike all the way to the right-hand side of the road. In Europe that makes perfect sense. When there’s police on the street, it's a good time to obey the law.
Out here it’s a whole different game, tough.
I have been a little fly going straight for the web of the spider...
So, from extended personal experience, here's my advice:
When you spot traffic police the trick is to move as far to the left-hand side of the road as possible and speed up. They will yell and maybe whistle but they will not chase you (it’s hot out here, especially in a police uniform). Do not make eye contact, do not slow down, look straight ahead and do not stop.
Alternatively, making a quick turn in a small side street or even going for the full U-turn are also very effective ways to avoid paying fines/bribes.
Stick to these simple rules and cruising around Sihanoukville on a moto will be smooth and hassle-free.
No rules, no helmet,
just full speed ahead...

Lazy Days In The Sun

It’s been a few days since I played online poker.
This morning I received a rakeback-payment on my PKR-account.
That almost had me going.
But I posted a few pictures on Flickr instead...
These are my last days in Sihanoukville. Time to just enjoy the sun and the sea...
After reading the ‘10000 Hours Rule’-chapter in the book Outliers (by Malcolm Gladwell), I’m no longer in a hurry. It states that to get really great in any kind of field there are always 10000 hours of practice required (Check the book for the details)
10000 hours of dedicated practice or settle for one lucky run (at best)...
I know what to choose but it’s going to be a long, long ride... So better start of with a few days of fun and sun. Soon enough I’ll be back in Belgium with not much else to do... (nothing ever changes)
Maybe I start with Sit ‘n Go’s again or I’ll continue my Rush Poker adventures. Six tabling on my desktop computer must be lots of (profitable) action-packed fun...
(but not just yet)
Next week I’ll get back into action.
Every 10000 hours of practice has to start somewhere.
Mine will start in cold, cold Belgium.
Now I'll just take my moto for a spin, have a few beers and go for a swim in the ocean before watching the sunset...

Sihanoukville: Sex, Dope & $$$

"Hey man, you wanna smoke weeeed?? What do you want? I got everything! Ganja, yaba, speed, opium, xtc, viagra, heroin, ... You wanna have a good time? You wanna fuck girl tonight? Wanna buy gun? I got everything you need..."


Sweet, seedy Sihanoukville
There’s something about this place
I can’t quite define.
The sweet urgency of now!
The brutal honesty of pure capitalism
While the Buddhist monks smile...
"It’s all good, it is all good."


Here I feel at ease
Happiness is mine.
Here in this strange, little place at the coast.

Home of countless dope dealers,
(under-aged) prostitutes,
corrupt police officers,
crooked politicians,
sketchy Chinese businessman,
alcoholic expats,
freaks, sex offenders, dope addicts, lunatics, ladyboys, hustlers and whores.
Russian mafia dudes (driving black Humvee’s with black tinted windows),
drunk Euro-trash kids,
ganja-loving backpackers,
lost souls,
dodgy nightclub owners,
cheap guesthouses, free WiFi, banana pancakes,
white sandy beaches

and

the only place on earth
where I'm a proud member
of a happy, lovely,
wonderful
family...

All in this same little place
(Same, same but different)

Down The River (To The Sea)

It would be kind of sad to only play Rush Poker out here.
So we went daytripping...
Took the old Toyota Corolla out on Highway #4 to the National Park again. This time for more than just a fresh sea food lunch. My sister-in-law is in the know about dudes with boats. So we got this boat trip going. Down the river in a small, small traditional Khmer fishing boat. Passed mangroves and swamps, birds and fishing people all the way to the sea. We tried to spot dolphins there... I only saw water move (probably waves) but my wife insisted it was the real deal... Whatever, the only dolphin I’ve ever seen is the one on top of the Dolphin Shack, on Occheuteal Beach, where they serve cheap nasty ‘Vodka & Redbull’-buckets ‘till sunrise. Anyway, never mind that place. Today it’s all about the great outdoors. Wildlife doesn’t do much for me. But I’m a big sucker for sandy white beaches. That was the next stop. Fresh sea food lunch, after all, but at a beautiful, empty beach.
My kind of place
Angkor beer and fish barbecue, the perfect cure for too much poker.
Although I have to admit; I secretly listened to the Two Plus Two Pokercast on my iPod while the rest of us were sleeping away the afternoon heat... White sand between my toes, the ocean in front of me and talk about cards, flops and pot odds in my ears...
Late afternoon, we did a little bit of walking trough the jungle back to our little boat. Going back upriver while listening the Dylan’s ‘Highway 61 Revisted’...
Out of the boat and into the car.
Rolling into town 'round sunset.
Heavily sunburned and tired as hell.
This day in the outdoors washed away all of the Phnom Penh craziness...
My sleep troubles are solved, slept like a baby all night long.
Waking up early the next day,
feeling clean and fresh.
Starting up Full Tilt, all happy and confident.
But still losing at Rush Poker.
Losing money, losing happiness.
Lost 3 buy-ins in an hour...
Maybe I should forget about poker while I’m still here.
Just enjoy my days in the sunshine.
Let’s say another 1000 hands and I’ll quit...
(one thousand hands or maybe a few more)

Just Cruisin'

Like every serious poker player, there’s always the urge to raise the stakes.
After all my moto-bike adventures it was time for something bigger.

So I borrowed the old Toyota Corolla from my sister-in-law, loaded it up with family members and took it out on Highway #4, past the airstrip and all the way to Ream National Park.

The first few moments where a bit scary.
Living in Brussels, I never drove more far than Amsterdam (once).
Driving a car here in Sihanoukville, Cambodia felt like a challenge.
But it turned out pretty straightforward and cool.
Driving = driving.
Like everything else,
here it’s a lot more fun than at home.
'Same Same But Different' (and better)

Speeding on the highway,
just cruising along the coast and over the hills...

Stopping for lunch at the National Park,
eating fresh sea food,
chilling in a hammock,
beautiful views of the blue, blue sea....

Later on
zooming back into town,
honking and swaying trough traffic like a regular.

No stress, no traffic jams.
Being so cool
driving my car

Just cruisin’
It's all good

Not Today, Mr. Officer!

Same old, same old...
Driving down Ekareach Street, late afternoon, when a Sihanoukville police officers appears out of nowhere and forces me to stop.

No no no, not again!

I consider ignoring him for a moment.
Maybe if I just keep driving everything will be alright...
But it feels a bit dicey to really put this into practice.
So I obey the law, once again.
Stopping at the side of the road, slowly taking of my helmet and getting ready to hear which outrageous traffic law I broke today...

Then, out of the blue, a second moto-bike appears.
It comes to a stop next to the police officer.
My lucky day!
My wife and sister-in-law arrive on the scene!
It only take a few blurts in Khmer from them before the police officer reluctantly but quietly retreats on the sidewalk...

I’m free to go, no bribe paid!
Fuck you, Mr. Officer!
Don’t mess with me or you’ll get my family on your back!

Traffic Police Vs. Vagabond: 2 - 1

Police On My Back

There must be a picture of me out there in the Sihanoukville police station with big, fat $$$-signs under it.

So here we go again...

Cruising down Ekerach Street on my moto-bike, late afternoon. I spot traffic police so I come to a full stop in front of a red light. Get yelled and honked at by locals. Stopping in the middle of the road is simply not done. Never mind the traffic lights.

When the light changes to green I continue my way,
only to find a police officer forcing me to stop. This time they charge me for two offenses:

* My lights are switched on during the daytime ($1)
* I don’t have rearview mirrors ($1)

What a fucking joke!

Sadly, these dudes are not open for any kind of negotiations.
So I reluctantly pay the fine/bribe and continue my way, ignoring the next traffic lights without even realizing it. Those bastards are probably already waiting for me after the next bend in the road....

The first time was sort of funny, now I feel like a fish.
"Barang with pink helmet = $$$"
Time to get my game-plan together and stay out of their greedy hands!
(luckily they are dirt cheap)

Cambodian Road Rules

Here, in Sihanoukville, I spend hours cruising around town and beyond on a moto-bike, wearing nothing more than flip-flops, a shirt and shorts... Back home I would never do this. Here it’s all good. Maybe it’s just the head burning the common sense out of my brain...

Anyway, here’s some moto-bike advice:

#1. Always wear a helmet (in the city centre, during daylight hours)
No one really cares if the helmet will protect you in case of an accident. If you drive a moto you need to have something helmet-like on your head. That’s it. Mine is bright pink and at least 2 sizes to small but it keeps the police of my back. Strangely this rule does not apply to passengers... Also note that traffic police doesn’t work after dark. Wearing a helmet at night makes you look like a fool.

#2. Always drive on the right-hand side of the road. Unless you feel more like driving on the left...

#3. Putting your foot on the ground at any time before reaching your destination, stopping for pedestrians or giving way to people driving smaller smaller/slower vehicles than yours is really not done.

#4. Be careful with traffic lights. No one seems to really care about them but it are great spots for traffic police to earn an extra buck.
Just a few days ago I was speeding through the red light (just like everybody else) when I got stopped by the police. No worries. It’s not really expensive at all but it took a lot of time to get moving again. First I got lectured about me being a danger to Cambodian society etc. etc. etc. etc. I tried waving with my walled to speed things up but that didn’t work. So I had to wait until he explained me several times the dangers of ignoring the red light... Finally the $$$-question came:
‘you want to settle this here or at the police station?’
‘Here, here, here... how much do you want?’ (waving a wad of dollars in front of his face)
‘Don’t give me money, put something in my bag over there’ (pointing at a bag on his moto)
So while this kind officer was very busy staring at the traffic passing by, I put a $1-note in his bag.
‘Bribing cops for dummies’
That was that and I was free to go,
chasing the sunset on my Honda Dream...

Serendipity Now

I’ve been here a week now.
Mellow, lazy, chilled out, ...
Getting into that good old Sihanoukville-groove again.
It started out great with a few days with the family-in-law,
then we moved to a crappy guesthouse close to Occheuteal Beach.
Suffered from a serious case of Oriental Paranoia over there...
(It’s the same as ordinary paranoia but much, much worse)
Only myself to blame for that...
When I go for a run in Brussels I’ll often check and measure my route in Google Earth.
When I come to Cambodia I consider myself way to cool to use any kind of guidebook.
Only sissy’s walk around with a Lonely Planet.
Go with the flow, dude!
So when this guy at the shitty guesthouse spoke the magic words ‘Free Wifi’ my eyes went all shiny and I got myself a room. Turned out it was just a hot, dark, smelly box that never got cleaned. The shower produced water a pure random intervals. The WiFi was free but slow, slow, sloooowwwww.
This morning I found an old condom-wrap under the bed.
Tipping point reached. Get out. Fast.
Packed my suitcase and moved to a more classy place on Serendipity Road.
A spacious rooftop room with a view... I can even see the sea if I cross the terrace and turn my head to the left... So now I just walked out and onto the beach when I saw the sign
‘High Speed Internet: $1/hour’...
An offer to good to ignore...
This is the good life;
 typing on my MacBook, drinking a fresh coconut-shake and when I look up there’s the great blue ocean right in front of me.
Serendipity now!

Sihanoukville Rush

It’s been a week since my last hand of online poker...
Time to get back in action.
I decided to give the new Rush Poker on Full Tilt a try.
It’s cool!
Even just playing one table goes very, very fast.
I played very loose-aggresive because... well, this is Cambodia after all and I was craving for action after my break from the game.
On a tiny sample size of about 100 hands, 6-max, $0.10/$0.25 it worked out great. Made about 12 bucks and had lot’s of fun. Sadly, the internet is quite unreliable here so I think I’ll leave it at that for today.
Can quite decide if I’ll drive my moto-bike around the coast or have a swim in the ocean...
Just another lazy day in a laid-back beach town

Rakeback in the sun

Drinking a fruitshake while checking my e-mail on a hot Cambodian afternoon.
Last weeks’ rakeback just came in...
All the way out here and my bankroll still growing!
It’s all good...
$$$