The Buddha Never Sleeps

Watching local soap operas on TV while getting high with a friend is a great way to escape the afternoon heat until dusk comes around...

They say in Cambodia you’ll find what you want even if you don’t know what is you were looking for. Where the party never ends and the Buddha never sleeps. This place is hard to leave.

Live is relaxed, smooth and cheap. Then there’s this feeling of lawlessness and freedom, the nightly breeze in the air and the everlasting grains of sand on my feet. No desire whatsoever to go on some foolish jungle trip away from here.

It’s getting more quiet anyway. That’s a good thing. The girls from last weeks epic beach party left (most by bus, some out of their mind). The dudes prefer to hang out with other girls (instead of doing speed on the bar and find out who can swim furthest into the sea). It's all good, it's all fine.

So I've got the time to focus on the last remaining piece of the puzzle: beating online poker from an internet shop in Sihanoukville. Studying DeucesCracked poker-videos and working on my game. In need of a sharp mind (for at least a few hours a day).  When February's here it's time to play again...

This search for happiness is running right on schedule:

I’ve got the Fish.
Found some sweet kind of Filth.
Still very well bankrolled for this place = $$$
  
Just like the Buddha under the Bodhi tree,
sometimes you've got to stay put...

Hipster On A Beach

Hibernation’s over.
Ain’t got the blues no more.
Done with feeling sorry for myself.
Burning with desire for life again
right here in SnookyVille
on a beach.

He who lives like a beast gets rid of the pain of being a man.
Hunter S. Thompson said that

For years I’ve been domesticated and tamed like a fucking chihuahua.
One crazy night of drugs and booze with a group of cool boys and girls changed it all.

In case of doubt, fuck it.
John Lennon said that.

Sihanoukville is truly the end of the road.
Beyond here only sea.
A place on the edge.
The small town that never sleeps.
Tequila shots early in the morning hour.
Beer breakfast (at 4 pm) to start the day.
Where sobering up means a vodka redbull and
where even the food is often happy.
Getting some sleep any day now
but let us snort some crushed valium first
(just in case)

There are two ways to get what you want. You can get it or you can stop wanting it.
Buddah said something like that.

It was only when I stopped caring about my loneliness that meeting people became easy. Went for a beer one night around 9pm. Twelve hours later I was still going strong. Hanging out with the hipster dudes, chatting with the cool chicks. Smoking fine dope and drinking cold beer. Even got some romantic vibes (hipster-style) going on...
Burning through the night,
tripping in the sun
Friendly faces all around me.
Life’s sweet out here on the beach.

Happiness is an opium sunrise with a beautiful girl.
I said that.

The Sun. The Sea.

After three days I left Phnom Penh and took the bus down Highway #4 to the sea.
Back to Sihanoukville, the end of the road.
Home of white sandy beaches, laid-back bars and cheap ganja.
Also the home of my ex-familiy-in-law...

Got off the bus and found myself a room. A dirty place with a lousy fan and a filthy mattress but with a great view of the sea, a nice balcony and reasonable wifi. It’s all a matter of trade-offs.

On my first morning in town I made a final visit to my ex-mother in law. She’s a wonderful person and was still happy to see me. But I won’t going back there no more.
It was the family life that made me so happy on previous visits. I’ve never been part of a big, warm family but here, for 1 month a year, I was a brother, a son, a nephew, a part of something good. A family man.

This time around only the sun and the sea are able to soothe my senses (a bit). After all the shit came down back home, I’ve been looking forward to this holiday as a light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I’m here but it doesn’t matter.
My whole world has changed except me.

Being unable to meet new people in a chilled-out beach town is not a good sign for times to come...

Variance’s not on my side. A few days ago I got bitten by a dog. My toes are all cut up and bleeding (from walking too much in cheap flip-flops). I hate sitting alone in restaurants. I hate waking up in the morning and realizing what’s up (not much).
I know I’ve got only myself to blame. (If it’s not working, try harder) Still, I'm tired of traveling. Don't know where to go next.

Paradise’s not a place.
It are people you’re with.
Another lesson learned, too late and the hard way...

Sleepwalking in Phnom Penh

Aimlessly I walk the streets alone.
Nowhere to go, nothing to see.

Can’t be bothered to do the tourist thing over again.
Don't feel like doing drugs, girls or guns.
Not into religion, charity or saving the world.

Just walking and not much else.
Taking moto-taxi’s to random places.
Drinking too much cheap beer
and smoking too many cheap cigarettes.
Going nowhere slow.

Sweet memories crushed
by the bitter taste of reality.

There’s nothing here for me anymore.
This is not the promised land.

Phnom Penh, a town full of losers (just like everywhere else).

No Money No Honey

Only hours away from leaving Brussels.
The reasons are unclear.

(Fish Fact) It is how this cold and lonely winter ends.

(Brag) On the flip of a coin I booked a flight to Phnom Penh.

(Beat) A few days later my marriage was over.

(Variance) Lost my only real connection with Cambodia. No more family to visit. No one waiting for me.

(Fish Fact) But I never cancelled the ticket. Dreaming about a holiday in the sun is hard to give up.

(Breathing In)
Now I’m shit scared.
Like a vagabond, alone on the road again.
A lousy sequel to a story that’s already been told...
One last trip to Cambodia.
No fucking clue what to do when I get there.
Got no idea what is I'm searching for.
I don't really care all that much about money or love anymore.
I’m not looking for answers.
I don’t even know what the questions are.

(Breathing Out)
Might as well spent some time in the sun.
Leave the past out into the night.
Moving on and moving up.
Maybe I’ll spend my poker winnings on a posh seaside resort to read books and grind online poker. Maybe I’ll try to get lost in Phnom Penh nightlife or maybe I’ll make that final trip up river after all...

(Fish Fact) At best, a recipe for disaster. At worst, my best decision ever.

Fuck it. Final round.
It's time to go.

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At best, great stories about the world of online poker.
At worst, wild ramblings about trying to beat this game called life...
Nevertheless, always going for thin value.

Movie Night "Same Same But Different"

Time for another edition of 'Movie Night'...

This time I stumbled upon the German independent movie
"Same Same But Different". It's based on the true story of Benjamin Prufer and Sreykeo Solvan. An unexpected and uncertain love story of Sreykeo, a 21 year old bar girl in Phnom Penh and Ben, a German twenty-something on a holiday in Cambodia... When Ben returns home to Germany he discovers that Sreyko is sick and he takes on the responsibility to save her. On this journey he discovers a world where not everyone is dealt the same cards and where things are not always what they seem...

Awesome cinematography and a brilliant soundtrack (the Belgian Vive la Fete, Rammstein, French chansons and Khmer pop music) make this modern love story a hell of a trip.... A must-see movie if you were ever backpacking in South-East Asia. Forget Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach. This movie is the ultimate, truthful and authentic, 'white dude in Asia' story.
Highly recommended!

You can support the movie by buying the DVD at Amazon or you can try to get a copy at one of your usual alternative download resources...

Money, Money, Money

Got this Beatles song stuck in my head:

The best things in live are free

but you can keep them for the birds and bees

now give me money (that's what I want)

A new year, a new start...
While the rest of my life felt like a series of bad beats, I crushed 100NL full ring Rush poker like never before. A picture speaks louder than words, so here's the graph...
My first week of poker in 2011:

BOOM!