Six weeks ago I was considered by many (mainly me) as the illest
baller on the Brussels East Side...
Playing 2000+ hands of 200NL
Rush Poker a day and winning a steady 4 big blinds/100 hands (aka 'making a shit load of money!')...
4tabling Rush Poker while running good:
Double Rainbow all the way, dude!
High on money.
This is it.
My moment, my time.
Earning my ticket to the sun. Finally I got it all figured out. Poker is easy. So long, fuckers!
Rakeback alone is more than enough to cover living expenses in sunny
Cambodia...
200NL 6-max Rush Poker is popular with numerous Full Tilt Red Pro's. But I was fearless. I'm better. I'm the best. The pro's are in it for rakeback benefits. Grinding out thousands of hands a day leaves little room for surprising moves. Dudes like
Roland Specht play like a Catholic priests wet dream (aka 'ass tight'). No worries, I got it all figured out.
Life is easy,
just cruisin' trough summer while building my bankroll...
But after about 20000 hands, the close encounters with the dark side started. Small missteps and large ill-timed bluffs, while grinding at 500 hands/hour, can have serious consequences...
Losing several $200 buy-ins in less time than you can spell
m-o-t-h-e-r-f-u-c-k-e-r
hurts as hell.
But no time to dwell on the pain just now.
It's all part of the master plan.
Study hard (at
DeucesCracked).
Regular work outs at the gym.
Play more hands.
Ride out variance.
Keep calm and carry on at all times.
Still making money.
At little less than before,
but still cruising...
Then along came
Praz Bansi...
The first day I met him at the tables I suffered a -$1K loss...
Probably coincidence but, nevertheless, his presence at 200NL Rush freaked me out.
If Praz Bansi plays this game, how many other regulars in here are world class professionals???
The next few days that question kept bouncing 'round my mind.
It's hard to focus while confused and stressed out.
My ego wounded and my bankroll bleeding...
Paranoid and fearful,
I burned trough many more $200 buy-ins...
But still struggling to stay strong.
You know the drill:
Stay positive.
Study more.
Work out harder.
Run faster. Breath. Think. Swim. Recover.
Play more.
Stay calm at all times.
Play perfect.
Keep losing.
(repeat)
Lose some more.
(and repeat)
(and...)
Until there's only misery left.
Is it really possible to suck this hard?
Sick to the stomach,
staring into the abyss.
Tilt and pain lurking in my brain.
Confidence and self-esteem long gone...
Nothing more than a dirty, degenerate gambler.
Recovering gambling losses by gambling more is
*not* recommended.
After losing over 15 buy-ins I did the only sensible thing left to do:
I quit poker and drove straight to the first coffeeshop across the Dutch border.
200NL Rush poker took my money and
crushed my soul
And that's the story of my summer...
Silly hopes and dreams shred to pieces,
my soul crushed by bigger and better players.
A little less exercise and less studying
while indulging, with renewed dedication, in
my all-time favorite past time
of smoking weed...
Still, even when writing this,
I keep an eye on the 100NL Rush lobby...
Scrolling trough the player list, looking for weak spots and fresh opportunities.
Maybe, just maybe, I could do it again.
Grinding out 100NL for a while,
building up confidence, sharpening my moves, fattening my bankroll...
Preparing for another shot to mix it up with all the tough dudes at 200NL...
Never mind that ticket to the sun,
fuck the money.
All I want to do is beat the game,
be better,
be the best
and, more than anything,
crush souls!
Fish 2.0:
A fish with a vengeance....
