Not so long ago I was a married man. But things have changed. Nowadays I'm just a lonely dude in the big, cold city... Trying to divide my time between the day job, crushing online poker and getting stoned.
It's all cool. It's all good
But nevertheless, being alone gets quite lonely after a while...
So what to do? Where to go?
Get out and mingle is the obvious choice.
Alas, I'm not the most talkative guy and crowds get me all anxious. This can be cured with large amounts of alcoholic beverages... but it's kind of hard to engage in meaningful conversations when raving drunk. So I decided it's better to stay at home and try online dating.
First I needed to create a profile. First problem: it's very hard to come up with clever and/or funny answers to those crappy dating site questions... What are your hobbies? Favorite food? Favorite books, movies, music? Height? Sports? Weight? Children? Education level?
Fuck off! Just leave me alone!
But after smoking a big, fat joint I relaxed and answered it all. Went for the honest approach. I figured a WYSIWYG-style would work out best in the long run. Well, I didn't quite mention anything about drinking, smoking and gambling. But hey, that's not a problem. I have these habits completely under control. I can choose anytime to do them openly or sneaky. No worries there. It's all cool.
Anyway, with my profile up and running it was time to engage in some online mingling!
In online dating (just like online poker) it's best to start at the bottom, I guessed. So I started out with low standards. Any female who is living in this city, who is of legal age and who has the tiniest bit of profile information I can relate to... something like that. Then I worked very hard to send out cool and clever personal messages to anyone fitting this description.
After about a dozen messages I got myself a few cold beers, leaned back and started refeshing my inbox over and over again...
Out of the dozen only three girls replied.
I replied them all back.
Then only 1 replied again.
I replied her.
When she replied once more I decided to add 'avoid psycho's' to my minimum requirements list...
That was it. Maybe it's variance. Maybe the edges are too thin. Maybe I was just running bad. But most likely,
I'm just a big fish in this dating game.
No more computer love for me.
I'll just play long hours of Rush poker instead...
No comments:
Post a Comment