True Grind

(On Variance)

***

*

Back home and wondering
Where to go? What to do?
Life on the beach was sweet.
Got no fucking clue what to now.
So I focus on poker instead.
I'll deal with life later.

Returning to the grind with a passion.
Exchanged a bunch of Iron Man medals for a big cash bonus.
Excessive hours of 100NL Rush required to unlock it...

It's still hard to put in huge volumes. But I'm working on it. Played about 5K hands this weekend. That's as much as I could handle. My arm hurts from a million mouse clicks, my brain feels fried and my back hurts like hell. The results looked pretty bleak at first. But one great session on Sunday afternoon turned things around. Made about 5 buy-ins plus rakeback and bonus money...
That's about all the motivation I need.
A dedicated return to poker it is.

Grinding out a profit while trying to figure out where to go from here...

"LockDown Weekend"

March on Tilt: MiniFTOPS XIX

Play in the new MiniFTOPS this March for your chance to turn a small buy-in into a huge score. There's $8 million in guaranteed prize money...

Starting on Sunday, March 6th, MiniFTOPS features 45 events.
Series highlights include:

• The new $1,000 + $60 No Limit Hold ‘em Heads Up Event with a guaranteed prize pool of $100K
• Multi-Entry Tournaments
• The MiniFTOPS Two-Day Event, featuring a $200 + $16 buy-in and $600K guaranteed
• The MiniFTOPS Main Event, with a $70 + $5 buy-in and $1.25 million in guaranteed prize money

MiniFTOPS events feature huge starting fields and slow tournament structures, offering a lot of play for a little money. See the full MiniFTOPS Schedule for more details.

You can buy in to any MiniFTOPS event directly or satellite your way in for as little as $0.50 or 50 Full Tilt Points.

Now you can get multiple chances in the same tournament to make a big score with Multi-Entry Tournaments, a tournament format exclusive to Full Tilt Poker. Multi-Entry Tournaments allow you to register for the same tournament numerous times, meaning you can “multi-table” a single tournament...

MiniFTOPS XIX features nine Multi-Entry Tournaments:

• Event #3: $30 + $3 NLH Rush Multi-Entry Tournament, $100K guaranteed
• Event #10: $10 + $1 NLH – 6-Max Rebuy Multi-Entry Tournament, $250K guaranteed
• Event #15: $31 + $2 NLH Super Turbo Multi-Entry Tournament, $150K guaranteed
• Event #22: $12 + $1 NLH Knockout Multi-Entry Tournament, $300K guaranteed
• Event #24: $30 + $3 NLH Multi-Entry Tournament, $500K guaranteed
• Event #27: $100 + $9 NLH Multi-Entry Tournament, $350K guaranteed
• Event #30: $50 + $5 9-Game, 6-Max Multi-Entry Tournament, $50K guaranteed
• Event #37: $20 + $2 NLH – 6-Max Multi-Entry Tournament, $200K guaranteed
• Main Event: $70 + $5 NLH Multi-Entry Tournament, $1.25 million guaranteed

Follow these steps to register for any MiniFTOPS event:

• If you haven't done so already, download Full Tilt Poker and install the game software on your computer.
• Create an account.
• Open the game software and click on the Lobby menu, then select Choose Lobby View > Standard View.
• In the browse area, click on Tournament and then FTOPS.
• Find the MiniFTOPS event you'd like to play in, click the Register Now button and get ready to play for your share of the prize money.

Good luck at the tables!

Slice Poker Equity Calculator

Slice is a brand new advanced desktop poker equity calculator app for both Mac and PC.

It's a great replacement for PokerStove for PC users or, if you're on a Mac, this is the equity calculator you've been looking for. Forget about PokerZebra in the Mac App store (it sucks and you have to pay for it).

The free version of Slice sets a new standard in poker equity calculators and the paid version comes with a lot of powerful features like:

• Equity Simulations for Holdem, Omaha & Stud on both Mac & PC's
• A powerful syntax to help accurately shape ranges
• Review sessions by loading hands directly from HoldemManager & PokerTracker databases
• Save ranges for use later and create aliases for ranges using #hashtags
• Fold equity & ICM calculator
• Calculate equities on all turn and river cards, equity graphs and much, much more

Download Slice Poker Equity Calculator for free here

Leaving The Beach

I stayed on the beach for 25 days.
Returning to the place where I got married
to get over my divorce.
Didn’t sound like a solid idea at first.
But it was my best decision ever.

(Sweet, seedy Sihanoukville... ) For seven years I’ve been coming back to visit the family in law. This time, out here on my own, was far better than any holiday with them. So many people I met here over the years. So many friendly faces. Without family I got to know them all over again and meet many new ones in the process. Got more friends in Sihanoukville than anywhere else in the world. Here I feel at ease. Strong and confident, older and wiser (and yes, ofthen drunk and high too). Burning through the night, speeding on a Honda Dream, visiting a tropical island, stumbling into beautiful temples, ignoring traffic lights at all times, smoking joints everywhere and lingering on the beach with friends. There were no fights, no stress, no troubles, no anger. At most I got a bit annoyed with the languorous, inefficient way of life. But I learned to roll with it. After all, happiness has nothing to do with how much you can get done in one day. Happiness is all about with who you spend the day with.

(Twenty-five days of absolute smoothness)
My married live nothing but a distant memory.
Somewhere along the way I sort of forgot what it was I came here to get way from...

*

Yesterday I left town at the break of dawn.
Taking the bus up on Highway #4 for the final time.
Leaving the beach, back to Phnom Penh.

This time I got no expectations to ever come back here again.
This time I found what I was looking for.
Now I can go home and live happily ever after.
(making that same lame statement since 2003...)

(Final night in Sihanoukville, drinking heavily in a karaoke parlor)
Soeth, my motodop-driver friend, asks how long I’m going to stay in Belgium this time.
   "...I don't know... Probably a very long time, I'm not sure if I ever come..."
He bursts out in happy, drunken laughter
   "you will be back, my friend, maybe you don't know it yet
but you'll be back... soon... I know..." (fuck)

Yes, I found closure for my divorce troubles.
I had the holiday of a lifetime. I'm ready to play lots and lots of poker again.
But I despise the day job. I despise the cold and the grey and the emptiness back home.

I found this burning desire to live life at it’s fullest...
Don't want to slow down now. I'm just getting started.

(Back in Phnom Penh at a fancy hotel on Sisovath Quay...)
Last night I studied poker by watching DeucesCracked-videos and played a decent amount of Rush. Then I drained the mini-bar and worked my way through my last ganja. Alone, stoned and disoriented in the big city once again.

*

Today I sit at the riverside and wonder

So this was my final trip to Cambodia,
what’s next?

The Way of The Hipster

(A month on a beach in Cambodia/ Sun, sand, dope, drinks and dollars/ Stumbling through life on a thin edge/ Slipping and sliding between boundless hedonism and sincere Buddhism/ A simple guide to keep it cool)

Rule #1: You gotta love yourself.

     Changes are no one else is going to do it for you. (In the long run, most people and places just come and go)

Rule #2: When you’ve got nothing to say, remain silent.

Rule #3: Strive for smoothness!

     Keep your emotions in check. Feelings like anger, stress and hate won’t help you anyway. Stay calm and carry on

Rule #4: Being honest and truthful at all times makes life a lot easier.

Rule #5: Say what’s on your mind but keep it cool. 

     There’s never a reason for being blunt. Delivering the message in a gentle way will get you further

Rule #6: Always take full responsibility for your own (foolish) actions.

Rule #7: The safest route has the least to offer. 

     Don’t be afraid to gamble it up. Sometimes you just have to go nuts to stay sane

Rule #8: The opinion of other people is of no consequence at all.

Rule #9: Help your friends whenever they are in need.

     Maybe they’ll do the same for you one day, maybe they won’t. It doesn’t matter. Being righteous is always awesome.

Rule #10: The true hipster walks alone.

Filthy Rich Fish Poker Club

Feel welcome to join the Filthy Rich Fish poker club for Home Games online.

- If you don't already have it, download the free PokerStars software from www.pokerstars.com
- Open the main poker lobby, then click on the Home Games tab
- Click the 'Join a Poker Club' button
- Enter the Filthy Rich Fish Club ID number: 60556
- Enter this Invitation Code: Vagabond

That's it! Once we've approved your membership request, we'll be ready to start playing Home Games online together. We offer low stakes drunken cash games, spaced-out tournaments, a leaderboard and a very friendly and relaxed chat. We even might run a few tournaments with added prizes in the near future...



If you want to find out more, visit www.pokerstars.com/homegames

Return To Normalcy (Exile On Karaoke Street)

When we came back from Bamboo Island she asked
'What are you going to do now?’
'Maybe I'll look for a guesthouse somewhere in town'
(silence and then...) 'You can stay at my place for a few days if you’d like’

So I moved in with Daria.
She’s a skilled pool shark and an occasional sports bettor. In her early thirties, life hasn’t been sweet to her but she carries her burden with grace. She’s beautiful, of course. She has a wicked way of brutally honest story-telling. She nonchalantly lits up cigarettes anytime, anyplace. She tricked me in betting on a pre-recorded Thai boxing match once. She thought it was extremely funny. The game ended in a draw and then I finally got the joke too...

I met her on the beach one night. I was nursing a nasty opium comedown with $0.50 Happy Hours beers when she asked for a light. I gave her one and tried to avoid further conversation. Sometimes life doesn't follow the plan...

She lives in a small apartment up on Karaoke Street.
There’s always someone playing Khmer pop music at max volume. I keep losing small change playing cards with the neighbors. The karaoke bar across the street delivers cold, cheap jugs of beer at home. There’s lots of strange, delicious food around all the time. Some local girls spend ages telling me about their love troubles with barang men in broken English. Speaking not much must makes me a good listener. I don’t mind. It’s a cool way of letting time drift by while stoned...

Life’s strangely familiar up here.
Exile on Karaoke Street. It’s not in any guidebook. It certainly wasn’t part of my schedule. Nevertheless, I’m happy to escape the guesthouses, banana pancakes and the shallow, ignorant backpacking scene for a while. The Khmer lifestyle makes me at ease and relaxed. Life’s good up here. Just mingling with the locals, taking it easy. A life I used to live...

This time it’s different. This time I’m not committed. This time everyone’s in the know about it. This time I’m just passing trough on my way out of here...

But just

A few more days of lingering on Karaoke Street,
that’s all I need

Out There On Bamboo Island

Here’s some free travel advice for you: if you ever go to a tiny tropical island, make sure to bring a torch.

My trip to Koh Russei (aka Bamboo Island) was nothing what I’d expected.
Nevertheless, I got exactly what I wanted.

A tiny Khmer-style fishing boat brought us out there. Didn’t enjoy the bumpy ride across the waves at all. I do like the sea, preferably as seen from the beach.

On the island I got the bungalow I signed up for but nothing more. Just a wooden shack with a mattress and a mosquito net inside. No bars on my phone, no shops, no roads. Not even electricity. Just a beach with a few bungalows and behind it only jungle. Never mind, the tranquillity got to me straight away. Forgot my worries about the lack of fancy facilities. Rolled a fat joint and spent the whole afternoon watching the waves crash on the beach from a comfortable hammock.
Completely relaxed and at peace.

Only ten minutes after sunset I understood the full consequences of having no electricity. It was pitch black in no time. The battery of my cell phone, my only source of light, died within minutes. There’s a restaurant at the far end of the beach. They have a generator running from sunset till 9pm. Getting there, across the beach in total darkness, was a true adventure.

The first night I found it difficult to sleep. It was too dark, too much strange sounds in the night, too many insects wanting a piece of me. I’m a city dude. Wailing sirens in the distance and cars hissing by my window make me feel at ease. Animals howling in complete darkness, ants crawling on the wooden floor and a gecko somewhere really close make me rather uncomfortable at first...

Luckily dawn came around quickly. An early morning swim washed away the night. Afterwards I was completely in tune. It was a beautiful day on a tropical island. This time I was well prepared when sunset came.

A tranquil beach, the waves gently crashing on the shore.
Great seafood and fat joints.
Mosquitos and sand everywhere.
That’s what’s life really like on a tropical island.
Easy, simple and relaxed.

Think I’m done with going crazy.
Done with running away from myself.
I reel refreshed and alive.
Bamboo Island purified my mind and cleansed my soul.

Want to stay on a tropical island in Cambodia? I stayed at Koh Ru Bungalow Resort on Koh Russei, click here for more information and bookings.

Tangled Up In SnookyVille

Sure, everyone likes the sun. Everyone likes the sea.
But that’s not the only reasons why
I can’t drag myself out of Sihanoukville.

Being a tourist
is just not working for me.

Yesterday I started playing poker again. The plan was to warm up a bit at 50NL Rush before moving up. After 2K hands I'm down 6 buy-ins. That's pretty horrendous. Didn't expect to crush again straight away. But playing this bad hurts. Maybe this is the wake up call I need. It's been two weeks since I arrived in town. It feels like I start to pay the price for all the foolish things I do. Guess I'm in pretty bad shape. It's hard to notice with all these crazy people around me...

First there was this wild English girl who’s name I can’t even remember. She had a great appetite for the sweet filthiness called O... Later one night on the beach I saved a drunk Khmer girl from drowning. Pretty common sense. She thought differently and insisted on rewarding me. Didn't feel any need. Just didn’t want her to drown in the sea. Nothing more. She didn’t understand. She's ignoring me ever since... Whatever. Only days later I met a girl who had just cut her hand on a rusty piece of metal. Took her to the hospital for a tetanus-shot. Afterwards, she showed me the way to a Buddhist temple far out of town. There we got blessed by an old monk near the sea...

When I got off the bus I didn't think there was anything left here for me.
Now I'm way more involved than I ever wished to be.

Fuck it.

The endless happy hours, the spiced-up joints, the happy pizza’s, that filthy O and this iffy relationship I got myself into... This must be the time to leave. The story’s getting old. Going nowhere fast. Restless from too much everything. Did enough partying for the whole damn year...

Knowing when to leave is an art I don't master.

So I'm still here.
Don't want to leave,
staying is insane.

Did the only sensible thing left to do.
Rented a bungalow on a tiny jungle island
just behind the horizon.
Going there in the morning,
taking with me only what I really need
like sunscreen, a Swiss army knife, this laptop
a big bag of ganja
a bottle of fine whiskey
perhaps a few pills
and maybe
(just maybe)
this girl I sort of like
might come along too...

(Offline until further notice)