Happiness Inc.

A few basic guidelines for the modern-day employee:

1. This is not the life you dreamt of.
   Don't act like it is.
2. Never voice an opinion during a meeting.
   In ancient times the boss shouted the orders at his slaves. Nowadays very little has changed. Bosses present their orders in a meeting.  You might feel very good about yourself for having an opinion. But, please, do not waste your colleagues precious time by voicing it. You will be the only one listening anyway. In fact, the only reason to open your mouth during a meeting is to yawn or sip bitter, black coffee.
3. Be average!
   The less you get noticed, the more time you will have for the real important things in life (like downloading the latest episode of Californication, playing online poker or reading Twitter). The goal is to stay on the payroll as long as possible while doing as little as possible. Keep that in mind.
4. Don't befriend your colleagues.
   You'll need them to pass on your tasks when you have more important things to do. Friendship will slow you down. Of course, there are noteworthy exceptions. For example, if one of your colleagues sells excellent dope at a good price or you can score an invitation for a loose-passive medium-to-high stakes poker game...
5. Never - ever - do an extra effort.
   There will be days you feel like doing something good or positive. That's nice. But resist the temptation at all costs. During working hours, it is not the right time to test any karma theories. Big companies get spoiled easily. Just remember what they pay you and the feeling will pass quickly.

If you follow these simple rules you have a better than average change to find relative happiness as an employee. Just remember to quiet as soon as you can.
(For example, after winning the Sunday Million...)